Yes we will be together, all healthy (well maybe not mentally) and got a roof over our head, and I should be as happy as a pig in shit...but.........I am at the lowest point I hav EVER been in my life! I wish I had a clue how to pull myself outta this damn hole....yeah yeah I have heard everything like, do things you like to do, blah blah blah......well right now at this point, the only thing I do, do is play solitaire and I used to HATE that game! Yes I still read you all everyday, most of ya's mean the world to me and dont know what I would do without ya's!

I am scared! I have no idea how to get over this fear! All the years I spent on the road, all the times I slept under bridges or where ever I could, I was NEVER as affraid as I am right now!

We arent having thanksgiving.....nothing to make, but at least we are together.

I stopped taking my antidepressent, because I almost think that was adding to my prob, guess I will know in a few days, when its finally all outta my system. I need to re-teach myself meditation I think....I know it helped me in the past, maybe it will again....ya just never know.

I am sorry to post such down stuff when most ppl are totally happy right now, but hey, I trust you all and I hope none of you EVER have to go threw what I am right now! I wouldnt wish this horrible feeling on my worst enemy!

So anyway......to all you wonder folks I truely from the bottom of my heart wish you the happiest thanksgiving and one of the things I am truely thankful for is having you all on my list!!!!

*hugzzzzzz* all around!